Supporting Your Obese Child: 5 Mistakes to Avoid

At Nova Physician Wellness Center, we specialize in pediatric obesity treatment, helping kids and teens lose excess weight and get healthier through nutritional guidance, custom exercise planning, behavioral counseling, and medication management when needed.   

Parents play a key role in supporting their child’s weight control efforts, and we know how challenging it can be. Our expert team is here to help, highlighting five negative approaches to avoid, as well as positive strategies to keep your child feeling motivated and empowered. 

Pediatric obesity explained

A child’s weight and body composition shift as they grow and develop, making it hard to tell if they’re overweight at any given time. In fact, many children start to look “heavier” just before a major growth spurt, only to have the extra pounds disappear as they grow taller.

But for an ever-increasing number of kids and adolescents in the United States, extra weight accumulation isn’t offset by growth spurts; it’s something that continues until their weight to height ratio, or body mass index (BMI), reaches the 95th percentile for their age and gender, the definition of pediatric obesity.

A common problem

In the U.S., the pediatric obesity rate has nearly tripled since 1980: Today, almost one in five children and teens (19.3%) have obesity. It’s typically the result of a combination of factors, ranging from unhealthy eating patterns, physical inactivity, and insufficient sleep to emotional stress and genetics.

Serious health risks 

Compared to their peers of a healthy weight, kids with obesity have an increased risk of developing high blood pressure (hypertension), Type 2 diabetes, asthma, sleep apnea, joint pain, and mental health concerns like depression and anxiety. Without treatment, they’re also more likely to have obesity — and continued serious health risks — as adults.

Weight loss support ‘don’ts’

As a parent, you want your child to lose weight and reduce their risk of chronic disease so they can lead a healthy, active life without extra limitations. Supporting their efforts means avoiding strategies that can backfire on your intentions. 

Negative approaches to avoid include those that promote unhealthy ideas about food, and those that can make your child feel judged, ashamed, singled out, or “less than.”  

1. Shame and criticize

A supportive environment is, by definition, a shame-free one. Never shame or guilt your child about their body, food choices, or weight. 

Don’t focus on their appearance; avoid commenting on their size, shape, or perceived changes, and refrain from making critical comments (or compliments) about other people’s bodies, too. Such talk can lead to body image issues and eating disorders.

2. Single out your child

Don’t single out your child by making them feel different or laying the blame for their weight solely on their shoulders. A child isn’t “responsible” for their obesity; the condition is a result of many factors, including familial and societal influences.

3. Restrict and ban  

Don’t put your child or teen on a restrictive diet. Unless it’s medically recommended and supervised, strict dieting during childhood or adolescence can be harmful to growth and development, and lead to secretive binge eating, too. 

Along the same lines, don’t ban a specific food completely. Besides stopping your child from learning the importance of moderation, food bans typically backfire, creating a stronger desire for the off-limits food.

4. Reward and punish 

Avoid using treats to reward good behavior or restricting food as punishment. Don’t offer dessert in exchange for eating vegetables, either. Doing so teaches your child that “healthy” food is a chore to get through, and “junk” food is the prize. 

It’s also a mistake to label foods as inherently “good” or “bad.” Categorizing foods this way can lead to guilt and shame when your child wants to indulge in a “bad” treat. Instead, use terms like “everyday foods” versus “sometimes foods.”

5. Enforce or ignore

You may have grown up with the “clean plate club,” but you shouldn’t enforce it as a parent. This outdated idea stops children from listening to their body’s natural satiation cues, the very cues that make them stop eating when they’re full. 

Likewise, don’t let your child eat meals in front of screens. Eating while watching TV or scrolling through social media can lead to mindless overeating as kids miss fullness cues.

Positive weight loss support

The “dos” of positive weight loss support start with involving the whole family, making changes to the home environment (i.e., healthier meals, less screen time) that apply to everyone. You can also offer positive support by:

• Focusing on their health and well-being
• Emphasizing increased energy and strength 
• Modeling healthy eating and food behaviors
• Encouraging enjoyable physical activities
• Preparing and eating healthy meals together
• Keeping wholesome snacks accessible 
• Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule
• Limiting screen time and sugary beverages

To learn about pediatric obesity treatment at Nova Physician Wellness Center, schedule a visit with our team today. We have offices in Fairfax, Lansdowne, Charlottesville, Vienna, Arlington, Sterling, and Woodbridge, Virginia, as well as Rockville, Maryland.